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考试结束后,a:“考得如何?”b:“一团糟。”a:“踢球那么好,为什么考试就不行呢?”b:“踢球有人配合呀。”
公园的椅子上坐着一位老妇人,一个小孩子走过来。“婆婆,您的牙还行吗?”“已经不行了,都掉了。”于是小孩子拿出一包胡桃,说:“请您替我拿一拿,我去打球。”夜里,4岁的弗兰茨躺在床上。他请求母亲:“妈妈,给我一只苹果吧1“孩子,太晚了,苹果已经睡觉了。”“不,小的也许睡下了,大的肯定还没睡哩1小吉姆在一条轮船上当服务员。一天早上,他在轮船上送中饭时问道
几个朋友凑在一起聊天,有人跟一刚结婚的哥们儿开玩笑说:“最近没看见你买酒啊?工资全都交给你老婆了吧1。这时另外一哥们儿苦笑道:“她老婆也就算是一个‘收费站’,我老婆,不只是‘收费站’,还是‘修理厂’呢。天天在家喊着要‘修理我’1
丈夫:“我们结婚纪念日去哪儿呢?”妻子:“当然要去我没去过的地方1丈夫:“好啊,那咱去厨房过。”
一位古板的老妇人有生以来第一次尝啤酒,呷一口后,她疑惑地抬起头。“奇怪1她小声地嘀咕,“这味道怎么跟我丈夫二十年来喝的药一模一样。”
严格遵守财经纪律。去年,我不折不扣地执行了工资、奖金等主营收入悉数上交,再由夫人回拨零用钱的收支两条线政策,其余副业收入纳入预算资金管理,向夫人打报告审批使用,在过去的一年中,由于我财经纪律做到了不截留挪用,不挤占乱花,不隐瞒收入,不设小金库,使夫人总揽大权的地位得到了进一步巩固,家庭收入管理规范,资金专项使用。
purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.purrverse: poem about a strange kitty.purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.Human being: Automatic door opener fo
The animals were bored.Finally, the lion had an idea."I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football.I‘ve seen it on T.V."He proceeded to describe it to th
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog.It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type.In the sad part, the dog cri
Mrs. peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn‘t accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood.One says, "Let‘s fly out of the cave and get some blood.""We‘re new here," says the second one."It‘s dar
There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary.They say it is spreading f
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge.Some people are afraid of heights.Not me, I‘m afraid of widths.I had a dog once.I spilled spot remover on
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.He watched the game in astonishment for a while."I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.The first says, "I‘m so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"The second says, "
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "n
A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring
The following is a true story.There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn‘t stop sucking his thumb, he‘d ge
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you
There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be r
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.One day the mother allowed the boy to feel th
Great truths about life that adults have learnedRaising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.There is always alot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For ex
Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?Father: Ok ask.Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doc
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue‘ and ‘A Love Supreme‘?" she asked. "Well, no," answ
For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren.She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the
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